Redefining Myself

Written by Janet Nunnally

I thought I knew who I was. I used to be quite sure. I had an idea for myself and how I fit into the world. But when that fell apart, as was bound to happen when one tries to fit oneself into a mold of their own creation, I was left with a blank slate to start over. This year I can feel a change in me, but it feels as natural as can be. The change is continuing to drop my preconceived notions of the world and myself and finding the ideas that truly feel like they fit me.

For instance: I once considered myself a loner… withdrawn, shy, and reserved. Dropping all those ideas I find that I have no trouble talking to nearly anyone, even in a forceful and convincing manner. I can be silly without feeling too embarrassed by myself. I can live my life vibrantly without much concern about judgement. And living like this makes me feel so much happier, less trapped. And thinking now I feel I have always really been this way, but was quieted by what was expected and the road ahead on my plan that called for solitude.

And I have found that by dropping my old ideas, a whole new world has opened up. I can strive for greater goals. I can do things I never expected. With the wonderful guidance of those around me this year, I am learning to embrace the things that make up who I really am, not who I thought I was. What a truly amazing gift. To spend a year to redefine oneself is something not everyone has the chance to do, and maybe everyone doesn’t need to; but I can already see a new me through this lense of reflection. And I am happy with what I see.

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